Have you talked to your kids about sex education and other risky behaviors? Teens who talk to their parents about sex education are more likely to delay any sexual encounter, and despite their look of dread, kids really want to learn about sex from their parents not their peers. Do you know the statistics? They may surprise you: In 2009, 46% of high school students had sexual intercourse and 13.8% had four or more sex partners during their life. Prior to the sexual activity, 21.6% drank alcohol or used drugs. Only 38.9% used a condom. 34% of currently sexually active high school students did not use a condom during their last sexual intercourse. In 2006, an estimated 5,259 young people (ages 13-24) were diagnosed with HIV/AIDS. Each year, approximately 19 million new STD infections occur, and almost half of them are among youth ages 15-24. (www.sadd.org , Students Against Destructive Decisions). Sadly, most parents avoid the conversation because they don’t know how to go about having this type of discussion.
Having “the discussion” is not easy, everyone involved is uncomfortable, so much so that often the talk comes after it’s too late. Researchers found that more than 40% of adolescents had intercourse before talking to their parents about abstinence, safe sex, birth control or sexually transmitted diseases. The sad fact about this statistic is that kids who’s parents have regular discussions and educate their children are less likely to delay having any sexual encounter, or if they do decide, the will take every precaution to have safe sex.
While kids pretend not to listen to their parents, they do hear what we have to say. Parents can be the best sex educators, but you need to prepare when, what, and how you are going to handle the discussion. If you are embarrassed, your kids are likely to be embarrassed to ask questions. If you speak honestly and frankly, your kids are more likely to come to you when they have questions or are faced with the decision of a sexual encounter.
One of the best sources I have found is the Bible. In fact, the bible has a lot to say about sex. God created sex, so a man and wife have a beautiful way to express their pledged love to one another. Sex is also for procreation, so man and woman can have children and continue the family. But the bible is also filled with stories of consequences of sexual promiscuity. Samson and Delilah, Amnon and Tamar, David and Bathsheba all paid a price for having sexual relations. Many topics such as sexual immorality, homosexuality, premarital sex, fornication, sex in marriage are all covered. If you are not familiar with the bible and how to use it as a tool for a discussion with your kids there is still a lot of information available to parents. Here are 10 Tips for Talking to Your Children About Sex (Adapted in part from the National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, Washington, D.C.)
1.Use teachable moments to discuss sex.
2.Talk honestly about love, sex and relationships.
3.Give young people solid information about adolescent sex and the consequences.
4.Let children know there is no such thing as "safe sex."
5.Encourage children to remain connected with family, school and community.
6.Emphasize with kids that sexual abuse is wrong and should be reported.
7.Encourage young people to avoid alcohol, drugs and other risky behaviors.
8.Reinforce that kids do not need to give in to peer pressure.
9.Help your children set goals.
10.Work with your children to create a personal plan.
Be open to have the discussion frequently, this should not be a single discussion. Talk about life experiences, for example when you are watching television or movies and a sexual scene comes on, talk about the situation and consequences. Be sure you know what your kids are being taught at their school, don’t leave it up to the system to teach your child. Peer pressure is a big issue. Kids are either trying to “fit in”, become more popular, or just understand their own sexuality. You need to be a good listener and a good observer. Your kids will communicate with you, not always with words, about the pressures they may be experiencing.
Grace House Ministries in Weatherford, TX educate teens using a program developed by Scott & White. Worth the Wait® helps parents and empower teens to make healthy decisions. You owe it to your children to educate them. Visit http://www.worththewait.org/ to learn more, or if you live in Parker County, TX contact Grace House Ministries at 817-599-9080, they teach this program in our community.
Let’s change the statistics about teenage sex, it begins with you.
